


Ah Yes The Pump

by theregoesmyfearow



Category: Meme House
Genre: Other, POV First Person
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-20
Updated: 2019-11-20
Packaged: 2021-02-18 03:10:28
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 503
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21504244
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/theregoesmyfearow/pseuds/theregoesmyfearow
Summary: Bulk Bogan tells about how it feels to live his life, in his own words.
Comments: 5
Kudos: 9





	Ah Yes The Pump

**Author's Note:**

> There wasn't any Bulk Bogan fic that I could find with a quick search so I took it upon myself to be the hero in this situation. This is garbage, yes. But it is garbage that can start to fill a void.

Ah yees I am Bulk Bogan, I want mooskles to get big, and stronker from the pump. Pump iron, all day. Mooskles make pain for everyone else, since I get out of maximum security. I go to live with the Garfield and the Dio, Dio is asshole. Need bigger mooskles to make him sleep forever. Inject a drug into the mooskles, but it’s not enough. I get drug from Wario. Drink it and trip. Have a good trip. But I didn’t leave.

Ever since maximum security, I sleep with eyes open. Sleep and dream. Dream of the pump. Get stronker in my dreams, and the dream mooskles get stronker too. I eat a trash pancakes in the house. Trash is good for you to get stronker and healthier. Eat the trash.

If I eat the people meat, they are made of mooskles. Bones for my oatmeal. I rub the meat on my skin and it soaks through to make my mooskles bigger.

I go be a criminal, I am good at criminal. I will be the stronkest criminal. So stronk I pee my pants and everyone fears me. Big boy peepee pants. I will pee your pants too.

One day we were at the house. Garfield is scary when he takes shower. A ghost was in the toilet. Ghostly scary toilet. Cannot punch ghost with fists. I try anyway. I am not stronk enough to punch a ghost but one day I will be. Dio tells ghost to fix the toilet but ghost go through toilet. Everyone keeps killing people. I go kick Johnny’s nuts. I kick him a lot in the nuts and step on his dick. I went to the gym and worked out naked. Mooskles get stronker faster if you are naked. The human body is beautiful, I must exercise as the ancient Greeks did in their Olympics. People get upset, Bogan do not know why. I am a beautiful Bogan. Stronk mooskles. I kill all the people at the gym, they do not appreciate me.

I go to smoke a weed, a very big weed. I sniff the floor dust too. If you put coke on the floor you have to do push-ups to snort it. Make mooskles bigger by snorting cocaine during push-ups. I will kill the doubles. Liquid Bogan comes to the house, he gets killed. He is ghost now, he lives in the toilet. I am the only one, there can only be one Bogan. Only one Bulk Bogan. No substitutes.

Sometimes when I dream a sleepy dream my peepee is hard. I pee my pants and that happens too. Sometimes the drug does that. Inject drug into peepee to make it stop. Ah yees. Eat all the trash and the weed. We grow trash in the yard. Go over to Johnny’s house and cook him some trash. He is puny man with meat on his floor. He does not eat his trash to grow stronk.

One day I will be the stronkest from the pump.


End file.
